I absolutely love Halloween and so I will always hold a special place in my heart for all things spooky! I love Halloween parties, but they can be really tough when you have issues with anxiety. Here are my tips on how to cope 🙂 …also, that screenshot though… haha.
A lot of people suffer with anxiety disorders nowadays to some degree, and so here are my top ten things that I think that we will all have in common.
Yesterday I was lucky enough to get invited to Volair Spa in Knowsley and it really was an awesome experience. I have never had a “spa day” as such and so I was a little apprehensive, especially as it involved meeting a lot of new people. The past week I have been in a mild hyper manic phase and so now I am suffering with the inevitable downer that always follows, and so I was more nervous than I would usually be. I have promised myself that this year I am not going to make my bipolar or anxiety hold me back. If I get opportunities, then I am going to allow myself to be excited about them. I am so glad I went!
When I arrived (late! Sorry again!), I was greeted by Hayley who was really friendly and welcomed me with a dressing gown and slippers so I could go and get changed. I jumped into my tankini, that didn’t match at all cause I’m a terrible at being a girl, I then went to sit with some other lovely bloggers. The lovely people had laid out some pastries, juice and herbal teas for us and I certainly made use of the pastries – nom nom!
We split into two groups after a quick chat introducing ourselves and my first experience was to sit (on some amazing reclining chairs might I add) and have a facial experience with Hayley. She was so funny and talked us through the importance of taking our make up at the end of the day. I must be completely honest with you, it is very rare that I remember to take off my make up, and if and when I finally do, it is with a face wipe and brute force for that pesky eye make up!
However, after this really informative talk where we used some gorgeous products from Aroma Works which smelled absolutely beautiful! We first used the purity eye cleanser which was an oil that we rubbed onto our hands and then applied to our eye areas to loosen any existing make up. We also used a facial oil that was specific to our individual skin types, mine was for oily skin.
As someone with a very oily face (sounds grim I know, sorry) I would personally never have thought about putting a facial oil onto my skin as I thought that it would have just made things worse. But I must say that after this experience my skin has never felt better! Even now, the day after, my skin feels really soft and looks glowy – to the point that I haven’t felt the need to put make up on! This never ever happens, I put a full face of make-up on to answer the door to the post man! So I’ll definitely be looking out for these products as soon as payday hits! I learnt so much in this talk and I think I may have even been convinced to stop being so damn lazy with my skin care…
We then went into one of the lovely treatment rooms to watch a Crystal Clear micro-dermabrasion facial treatment, something which previously had honestly scared the living hell out of me! I always thought that it was something akin to sandblasting your face with high powered suction and coarse crystals – but it couldn’t have been further from the truth! The therapist showed us the crystals and placed them on our hands so that we could see just how small and smooth they were on the skin. We then got to feel the machine on our skin so we could see that it really didn’t hurt – it just seemed like a tiny, tiny hoover! I really would love to try one and the fear has certainly gone.
Then we had lunch which was a buffet with different sandwiches, wraps, crisps and fruit and more importantly we were greeted with prosecco! After a few glasses of prosecco and a good chat with the girls we then went on to our second experiences. To do this, we went downstairs and we got to smell a selection of exfoliation sugar scrubs and choose one that we loved. My favourite was the lavender one as it reminded me of all of my relaxation things that I use at home. We were given a shot glass full of our chosen scrub and at first I was worried that this wouldn’t be enough. However, the consistency is more like a jam than anything else, and covered my whole body easily. We then washed it off in the shower and moved on.
Volair Spa has an Alpine Herbal Sauna and Salt Crystal Steam Room and so we took advantage of these. Admittedly, saunas usually fill me with a bit of a sense of dread as the high temperature and tiny rooms often mean that I struggle to catch my breath and end up having a panic attack. However, one of the things that I loved about this sauna room was that the door was glass and so I could see out and understand that I was not trapped.
The steam room felt lovely as well and we were dripping with sweat in minutes (sorry! TMI?). The only thing is, as my vision is so terrible I really can’t walk more than two steps without my glasses so I had to wear them inside. This meant that they steamed up every ten seconds, which although funny, got annoying after a while, but that is just the fault of my shocking vision – thanks genetics! Volair have an offer where two people can visit the spa for just £15 and I think I’m going to treat me and my mum to pamper day before Christmas.
We then went back upstairs and were given goodie bags to take home with us. We said goodbye to everyone and recording a quick video testimonial before leaving. Considering I had to then drive over 60 miles home I didn’t have chance to look through my goodie bag however when I got back I had a look through all the great things I had. There are a lot of samples of the products that we have used throughout the day and a voucher to return (which I’ll definitely be using soon!).
Disclaimer: I was asked to attend the event but writing this post was not compulsory, I just really loved my day!
Living with bipolar disorder can be fun at times, hypermania so often bringing with a flood of endorphin’s and inspiration to be great and to do great things. However the lows can be totally debilitating and take over the overwhelming roller coaster that is your life. The past two weeks have been extremely tough for me in regards to my bipolar depression, and it is really the first time that I have properly crashed (to the extent to which I am worrying myself at least) while I have been a functioning adult, with my own responsibilities.
This past fortnight has destroyed me and all I have wanted to do is fall back into old habits, and not move from my bedroom while sitting on the wrong side of a lighter or razor blade. But I don’t live at home now, I’m not at uni. I can’t afford to stay at home, just because my world is falling apart doesn’t mean it stops turning for the rest of the world! I rent a two bedroom house with a garden and have two pets to look after and a full time job to manage – I don’t have the luxury of just being able to stay at home when I feel a bit dodgy.
And so, I have had to drag myself to work and sit at my desk, the majority of the time while trying to ignore the tears streaming down my cheeks, and get on with everything because life will never just stop. Of course there have been tears, and stress and even a panic attack (my poor manager…never seen a grown man look so uncomfortable in my life – I am so sorry!), but I am surprising even myself by pulling myself through it.
It may look like I am not coping to any outsiders looking in, and to a certain extent no I am not. However, only I know how fragile and broken I was just two or three years ago, and there is no way that I would be able to cope with moods like this, be living on my own – and more importantly to trust myself to live alone without doing anything stupid, without anyone to (for lack of a better term) “babysit” me.
When my mood plummets like this I can appear to be a totally different person – I become even quieter and only speak when spoken to (yes I can speak even less than I do now, I swear its possible!), I forget to eat, lose pleasure in doing things I’ve always loved, nothing tastes right and most annoyingly my concentration becomes non-existent. If there is something on my mind then I will sit and think about it endlessly until I have reimagined every possible alternative outcome to that situation, if there is nothing in particular bothering me that day, then my head will help me to create a problem – probably fantasising about a bomb scare, or a kidnapping similar to my past happening again – neither of which are exactly likely on a Tuesday afternoon in North Lancashire.
But that is what bipolar depression does, it takes who you are and slowly compacts you into a small shadow of your former self. You become paranoid and snappy and often end up taking it out on the people who try to help you most. Life just becomes very difficult. As I said, I feel like I am doing well, and I am proud of how far I have come over the past few years. No, I am not exactly coping right now as it feels like I am trying to sew sand together to be perfectly honest. But, I am coping well enough for me, and I am doing my best to stay afloat, and that’s good enough. For now at least.
Goodnight my lovelies,