After living through an extremely crappy year, I think it is important to think ahead rather than backwards so that you don’t end up focusing on negative aspects that you really can do without. So I have been thinking about things I want to achieve as I always work best when I have goals that I can clearly work towards and this is why I have started working on my ever growing bucket list.
- Go to Japan
I have always wanted to visit Japan as it is totally different to my own country here in England. I want to experience a culture that is completely separate to my own so that I can learn about the culture and customs first hand.
- Become a qualified therapist
During my second year at university I changed what I wanted to do (bit late I know) as the government slashed the budget to the arts which meant that the need for drama teachers, my chosen career, was dramatically reduced. I had been passionate about mental health for a long time and suffer from bipolar and anxiety disorders myself and so I decided that I wanted to become a therapist and help people in a way that I wished I could have been. The only thing stopping me at the moment is the huge cost, but hopefully one day I will be able to save up enough to pursue my dream.
- Get married
Yes I know this one may seem like a bit of a Disney princess fantasy answer but hear me out. I am not in love with the pure idea of getting married, what I am hoping for is to be in a relationship that is so strong that I can’t ever think of being with anyone else. I want to wake up next to my best friend every single day and look into their eyes and know that they love me just as much as I love them. That is why I want to get married. I want to get married because I want to prove my commitment and devotion to the man that I will love…whoever that may be. Maybe I should find the poor bugger first eh?
- Have a child
I have always wanted to be a Mum ever since I was a child myself and the idea of having mini me’s running around my front room makes me smile wider than I thought I could. Although I am not quite ready to have my own little monster just yet (I mean I am only 23!) it is certainly something that I am desperately looking forward to in the next few years.
- Get a Maine coon cat
I have always liked cats but my mum has never been a fan and so I could never have one growing up. When I moved out all of my landlords have also been anti feline and so I have been left dreaming for one. One day I will have a Maine Coon cat that can lounge around my house and take up most of the sofa.
- Own a Volkswagen Beetle
I love these cars! I currently drive a Nissan Micra S series and this is pretty much because it is the closest thing to a Beetle that I could find that was still within my price range! I think they are really cute little cars and one day, finances willing, I will finally have my own!
- Get my boobs done
I don’t mean this to sound like a vain or desperate goal, as it is something that I know will improve my general mental health. I have never been happy with the way I look and the things that I can physically change (i.e. my weight – 4.5 st down and counting!) I am changing till they are what I want them to be. However, the main thing that has always made me feel shitty about myself is my boobs. It is not the size of them, size wise they are quite average and I am okay with that, average is good with me. It is the shape of them that I don’t like. They make me feel ugly, old and extremely unlovable and although I know that getting my boobs done is never going to be a magic switch that suddenly makes me love myself, it is definitely something that will help me continue on the right path to making sure that I am the person that I want to be, both inside and out!
- Go backpacking
I have always wanted to go travelling and satisfying my ever growing wanderlust by exploring the world seems like a great way to do it. I want to experience new and exciting places with my own eyes so I can see new sights and take on new challenges first hand. Taking in the new sights and smells of exciting new places throughout the world would be my perfect way to spend a summer, but again, the only thing that is holding me back is money. Unfortunately, I can’t see that changing anytime soon.
- Go to 20 gigs in a year
I haven’t gone to a gig in nearly 4 years thanks to my anxiety putting me off and scaring me out of pushing myself to do the things I want to do, even if I know that they are things that I will enjoy. I have bought my best friend gig tickets for his birthday, and so we will be going to that in January, I am hoping this to be the start of a years’ worth of gigs so that I can back into the swing of things!
- Read 30 books in a year
This year I have set myself the challenge of reading 23 books before the year is out as that is my age, and so far, I am well on track to meet this challenge. I would like to challenge myself to read 30 books in a year and increase this by ten for the next challenge as soon as I meet it!
- Build my blog up to the best it can be
I started off my online life with my YouTube channel EmmieMumsieBeaver and I have since built it up to be bigger than I thought it ever would be. I started my channel for me more than anything and so the fact that anybody wants to watch me really does mean a lot. However, I am passionate about writing and I want to get back into that passion with my blog. Although it doesn’t appear to be much now, I intend to spend the next 12 months working as hard as I possibly can on it, and keep posting regularly (now I’ve said it so I have to right?) so that it can be as good as I know that it can be. Wish me luck!
- Reach 2,000 subscribers on my YouTube channel
When I first started university my mental health took a severe nose dive and I really started to struggle more than I had ever done before. I started to seek help wherever I could as my GP was absolutely terrible at the time, to the point that my mum came in and yelled at her (go mama bear – protect your cub!), and it was then that I found YouTube. I found channels such as Laura Lejeune’s and Lollies and Ciggies (Hannah) and idolised both of them. I loved how open they were about mental health and thought that I could give it a go too. Being open about what I was experiencing was really beneficial to me and for some reason people enjoyed watching it. I have been getting more subscribers steadily and am currently, as I write this, sitting at 1,251 subscribers – which is way more than I ever thought I could even dream of – so if you are one of them, then seriously thank you, it means a hell of a lot. My next goal is to reach 2,000 and although I have a long way to go, I am looking forward to smashing it!